Yeah yeah.
2002-03-28 / 1:50 p.m.
I'm totally freaking out in school this semester. I really don't know what to do. I just cannot handle Algebra. I don't know what is wrong with me this semester but I am really having a hard time. I want to drop my class and just start all over again next fall. But then I'd only be taking 2 classes and I'd have to go back to working more. (Ughh... it's pretty bad when I cannot think of what is worse: Math or waitressing.)
Yesterday I watched the movie Ghostworld. It was really good. I love Steve Buscemi and I LOVE movies about teenage girls. I swear that I will always remain 17 inside! (But not the bratty 17 year old that I actually was!!!) It made me kinda sad though. I miss being a teenager. I mean of course I totally hated myself and everything in the world at the time. Shit though... wouldn't it be great to go back knowing what I know now???? Instead of living to fuck stupid assholes I could have actually done something. I mean I totally thought I was fucking insane when I was young. I totally thought that I was crazy in the head. Now I know that I was completely rational. I fucked everything up because I thought that I only existed to please guys. Ughh... why did I care??? It's pretty sad because I wasted all this time on sex when I was younger and it's like I didn't even learn anything from all those stupid experiences!!!!! I guess because I was always drunk during them!!! Now that I am married and have been fucking the same guy for 3 fucking years I feel like I've only slept with a few guys my whole entire life. Funny huh?? I feel like "I need to experience things." (HAhaha I sound like a typical guy, huh?? Gosta fuck as many guys as I can before I wither up and get ugly! (I'm being sarcastic!!!) It's like in actuality I've had lots of experiences. I just cannot remember them!