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March 20, 2003 / 6:16 pm

My husband is downtown protesting but I have to stay here because I, apparently, am constipated and cannot walk. No, i'm totally serious. How embarrassing do you think it is to cruise the laxative aisle at Walgreens? What am I? 67? My stomache hurts so fucking bad.

I hear sirens though. I hope there isn't riots. Hmm.....I take that back. I hope they are rioting downtown.

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