I hate men, really I do!

2001-10-02 / 2:47 p.m.

I have so much work to do today. I have a essay due in English tommorow that I haven't even started yet. I work well under pressure though.

I really should be doing work, but instead I just feel like chatting!

I'm really obsessed with this game, The Sims. It is so fucking addicting! It sucks though because my little sim. "kimsim" is sad! She cries all the time! I think she needs some love in her life but I don't know what to do for her. I tried to get her to do the neighbor guy, but that isn't working. Oh poor little Kimsim!

I'm so excited for winter! It's starting to get all cool outside, and the leaves on the trees are so lovely!

Yay! I usually hate winter and fall but from now on I'm gonna dig it! I just know it! I hated spring and summer this year. I think the only reason I have been saying that they are my favorite seasons is because when I was in school when I was younger I liked not having to go to school. Go figure now I love school, and I love fall and winter. It is so weird how you change so dramatically as you get older.

I hope I have a package waiting for me when I get home. That would really kick ass. THen I should actually do some work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night Mike and I got in a fight and I tried to sleep on the couch. I was like, "Fuck him, I don't wanna sleep with him! I'm just gonna sleep on the couch and stop forgiving him so fucking easlily when he's a dick." So then I fall asleep and he wakes me up and asks me if im really gonna sleep on the couch. Stupid me pretends like "oops, i fell asleep, of course I'll sleep with you." So I go into the bedroom and he falls asleep. I hate that shit! When I am fighting with someone I like to actually work through the fight. I don't want to just forget about it. So that really bugged me and I started crying. It's just so frustrating! He woke up and asked me if I was crying. Then he cradled my head against his chest and went back to sleep. Doesn't he wanna know WHY I am crying?

I'm so sick of him constantly wanting to have a threesome. It's annoying. He acts like I am denying him of his greatest desires because I'm not comfortable with it. It pisses me off. He wants to go and fuck someone then do it! Why do I have to be there? When I say this he's like, "Well I want you to be there, that's what is so fun about the idea." I hate boys. I really do. It would be different if he never got to try it out! Like 2 years ago I finally gave in and had a threesome with him and this stupid little blonde bitch that I wasn't even attracted to. Just because he really wanted to, and I didn't want to have one with him and this other girl he wanted to do. So I agreed to have one with the blonde bitch. I swear the next day he wanted some more. It's not like if I did it again it would satisfy him. He'd just want to do it constantly!

I hate it because it's so obvious that I don't turn him on any more. The only thing that gets him hot is thinking about fucking other girls, you know. We talked about how cool it would be to get a video camera and make videos of us having sex. We finally get a camera and he doesn't even mention it. I know that I should say something, but I'm absolutely terrified of rejection. It would be different if I thought he would like me trying something on him. I feel like he would just be bored with the thought. I swear we haven't had sex for a week or something. When we first got together it was like 4 times a day. Oh yeah, I forgot, I was new and interesting then.

I hate men, really I do. Even my boyfriend that I love dearly!

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